03 Jan How to Get Fired from Your First Photog Assistant Gig (in 8 easy steps)
Step 1: Show up “on time”. “On time” (i.e. the time the photographer asked you to show up) is actually late. Ten to fifteen minutes early is on time.
Step 2: Struggle to answer simple questions such as “why are you late?” Or, “are you really going to pop that gum all day?” Or, “were you raised by a pack of developmentally delayed wolves?”
Step 3: Suggesting framing or angles as the photographer sets up his next frame rationalizing that it would be “totally cool.” The 90s called. It wants its youthful expressions back.
Step 4: Walking at a turtle’s pace when the photographer asks you to get something.
Step 5: Overcompensating for step 4 by running with a lens as though it were a football.
Step 6: Showing off by gracefully dancing around obstacles between you and the photographer as you run with the lens as though it were a football.
Step 7: Not seeing that one power cable that ultimately trips you up sending you tumbling to the floor as the football lens floats through the air towards its fate.
Step 8: Nonchalantly muttering “thanks man” with a lopsided grin after the photographer nearly breaks his neck leaping forward to catch his $1,200 lens.
Oh, you’re welcome. Also: You’re fired.